Hello + welcome to this tiny space on the internet! I created this blog (+ changed the name twice since) 14 years ago as a creative outlet from my career in the emergency room as a PA. After spending the past 7 (or so) years on social media outlets, I have decided to delete all of the ones associated with this blog and get back to the heart of blogging.
A few months ago I watched an episode from The Black Mirror (Season 3, episode 1) and I found myself watching it and seeing a lot of myself. It’s a difficult thing to admit, that you are super saturated with social media, many will deny that they care when in fact, we are all human and we all care to some extent. If you haven’t seen this episode, I highly suggest you watch it, it’s very eye opening.
“Life is what happens when you’re looking at your smart phone.”
I have a love/hate relationship with blogging and I have since I started in 2008. In one way, it’s such a beautiful way of connecting people from across the world and allowing them to find comfort in certain topics, such as motherhood. I, myself, have found comfort in others especially if I was experiencing something particularly difficult. All I have to do is hop on Instagram stories and talk about it and within minutes I have many saying they’ve experienced the same and what worked or didn’t work for them. This social media outlet has helped me in many ways both physically and mentally. I have met some of the most amazing humans on this earth through blogging, some of which I have YET to even meet in person.
The flip side to all of this is that many bloggers, including myself, spend a lot of time behind the screen. We spend time editing all of our images, creating blog content, submitting blog content, uploading content to Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter and Instagram. We feel the need to constantly be staying “in tune” with others’ content and giving them the love that they also deserve. Opening the Instagram app several times a day to comment on all of our fellow bloggers’ images and making sure we don’t “miss” anything.
“Technology can be our best friend, and technology can also be the biggest party pooper of our lives. It interrupts our own story, interrupts our ability to have a thought or a daydream, to imagine something wonderful because we’re too busy bridging the walk from the cafeteria back to the office on the cell phone.” – Steven Spielberg
If a day goes by that wasn’t spent looking at my phone, sometimes I think, “WOW. I missed out on so much yesterday, I need to catch up.” The harsh, true reality is, catch up on WHAT?! Catch up on how everyone else is living their lives while I scroll up and down my phone screen instead of living my own? I also found myself insensately checking my emails, looking for an “exciting” one to pop through. All the while not realizing that the most exciting part of my life is happening right before me, in my own home. Three beautiful children who experience life in the most organic way, without technology. Seeing life through their eyes is something we all need to concentrate on just a little bit more. Admiring things like the way caterpillars morph in to butterflies and the way the sky looks before and after a storm. These are the things that we all end up taking for granted and short of me sounding like a complete crazy person, these are the things I want to learn to appreciate again, in a new light.
“It’s not good enough for us to have generations of kids that… look forward to a better version of a cell phone with a video in it. They need to look forward to exploration.” – Burt Rutan
The importance of social media lies in finding the perfect balance for you. Now that we are a family of 5, I have little time for much social media and try to schedule it into my blogging work schedule rather than constantly checking it when I can throughout the day. I allot a time, let’s say 10 am – 11am to be spent catching up on social media, responding to messages and scheduling in my social media posts. This has been immensely helpful when it comes to keeping me on track with my to-do list and limiting screen time.
“Look at the world and think about a catastrophic disaster where the cell phone towers went dead. How would you ever be able to ‘TEXT” your next door neighbor to see if they were okay”
-Stanley Victor Paskavich
I honestly miss the days when you would see people at a coffee shop reading the newspaper, instead everyone is looking at their cell phones. I miss the days when people could walk (anywhere) without also looking down into their phone instead of saying hello to others. I miss the days when we would use our rotary phones (yes, I used to do this at my grandparents house) and call our friends to chat instead of talking through text. I miss those in depth conversations face to face with other people rather than through my cell phone. I guess what I am trying to say is that I wish I lived in the 1940’s when life seemed just a tiny bit “simpler”.
“You need to build an ability to just be yourself and not be doing something — that’s what the phones are taking away. It’s the ability to just sit here like this.” – Louis C.K.
As many of you may have seen or read on my Instagram, I plan to go a slightly different route in 2018. A route that will take me away from my cell phone and more into the life that gives me 100% fulfillment. Admiring things that I may have surpassed because I was too busy looking at my phone. My favorite days are the ones that I have spent disconnecting and though, I love so many of you and have found so much support through blogging – I also need to go back to what really matters – my family and friends. Starting in 2018, I will keep my topics the same, motherhood & style but will be showing a lot less of my family and only blogging a few times a week. I will chat more about it when the time comes but until then, I encourage you to venture outside on long walk, leave your cell phone at home and admire everything around you. I promise that you’ll come back home feeling like a new person <3
I’ve watched your instastories and blog posts of your dressing room chronicles. I’ve loved what you tried on, went on the stores website and bought it, more times then I can count. After, I’d think to myself why am I doing this? Why am I not at the store myself trying things on and enjoying something I really love, shopping. I watch these bloggers post their videos on snapchat and Instagram and actually feel bad for them because they’re kids are playing in the background and they’re not paying any attention to them. I love this and how you’re taking a little step back. Congrats.
I will say that I have missed appt he stories, being a stay at home mom I am so lonely or feel lonely. But the sad truth is I am not, I have a two year old son and a 3 month old son who deserve to have a mommy not so into her phone part of the day. I say that if I am being 100% honest with myself. I don’t want to miss out of there lives on my life because I am too busy wat is others. So trying to capture a picture instead of playing with them. Anyway what I am getting at is you are so right! And I hope everyone understands. I am so happy you are going to do what best for you and your family!
I feel like bloggers talk about how it consumes their lives as bloggers, and I totally repspect everything behind the scenes – how do you think your followers feel? I follow many of the ladies you mention, and I feel like I’m always watching, sometimes wondering why my life doesn’t feel as perfect, why can’t I shop so much, afford so much, look so cute all the time….or I find myself adding makeup, clothes shoes to my cart and I don’t even need them. I think it has an effect whether you’re the blogger or the follower – in different but similar ways. I’ve taken a step back, because I can not compare my life anymore and I don’t want to spend my time on the phone, missing all the little things with my family for what? To see a cute sweater? So kudos to you, even though I’m not a fellow blogger I relate to your feelings.
Love how honest and open you are about this because there are so many of us who have felt the same way. Lots of love – you are such a great resource in this space and I adore what you put out there. Hang in there and big hugs, friend!
I need to do the same for myself. I find myself way too connected to my phone, and while I enjoy learning new things and relating to other women, I agree that you have to live your own life in the present as well. My husband calls me out on it all the time, but if I’m being honest, Instagram is how I decompress after work. I sit down and remove myself from my own life for a bit. However, I feel like I’ve reached a point where it’s too much, and I do need to make an honest effort to change that mindset. I want to thank you for actually verbalizing this because I think many others feel the same way, but may not want to admit it. I hope, come the new year, that you’re able to enjoy your family more, and I totally respect your decision. ????
I love all of this – you’re an incredible Mumma and business woman and area true role model for all of us out there trying to balance both – this was pure brilliance!
I love this and agree with it all! However, I will say that a big reason I follow you is to see your adorable family and connect with you on that level since I am in the same place in life as you. So, I’m really hoping there will still be some of that…..
You are right in so many respects!!!! Technology has taken over. I like to see what people are up to, but if I did not have my phone would I survive?? You are one of my favorite bloggers and the reason why is because you are REAL…you don’t care if your hair isn’t just right or if you make-up is on or not!! What you share with all of us is your choice and I respect you for focusing on your family!!! Your kids will be little for such a short amount of time! Imagine if we were all to busy on our phones to miss our baby’s first step or first smile! Your intelligence and foresight will only benefit you and your family!! Let your heart guide you in the right direction. All of us are really strangers checking in to see what you are up to….close those doors and enjoy your family!!
100% yes. As a blogger I feel the same way. I struggle because blogging (like actually writing a post) takes me about an hour to do. Sometimes I wish I didn’t blog so I could spend that time doing something else but then I also look at my blog as my journal and I’m so glad I’ve blogged about my life.
I do try to start my kids first two and last two hours of their day phone free. Like, put it in a room I won’t go in so I won’t be tempted to look at it. I find myself actually getting on the floor and playing with my kids when I do that, verses looking at Instagram, wasting my time.
Thanks for sharing. I think we all relate whether we blog or not.
A few days a week of blogging is still an accomplishment! This post is so great. ???? I wholeheartedly feel you on this- I took a 4 month break from all social media this summer and it was amazing. Scheduling it in is a great plan! I just started blogging and I’m wondering how I’ll ever think of enough content and find enough time to post once a week and I don’t even have a job outside the home- so hats off to you! Great job being so self aware and making changes to better suit your family. That’s what matters most! ❤️
I hope you can find the balance that works for you and your family. You have to do what makes you happy in the end. It’s hard to keep up online presence and be present with your family. They will obviously benefit from the latter and you won’t regret finding that middle ground. What you have built online is awesome but you don’t want it to cost your sanity! I would never give up memories with my kids for “work” if I had the choice! Do you mama and be confident in your choices! No matter how much we will all miss you!
This post is absolutely perfect! Some days I feel like I’ve managed my adult “screen time” so well and have limited my phone use while the kids are awake and then other days I feel like I have failed them and just got too caught up in all the social media….thank you for being honest about your journey it is definitely making me think of setting a schedule for “screen time” for myself so that my days can be consistent rather than some good days and some days where I probably have gone a litoover board! It’s funny I’ve alwybeen concerned about too much screen time for the kids and not exposing them to tv until they were older and limiting their “screen time” but never thought about how the same should apply for myself as an adult!!! I will say I hate when you go out to dinner (which can be rare with 3 children) and you look at all the tables around you and no one is speaking because they are all on their phones! No one is smiling or enjoying their time together and so we have always made it a point no phones at meals in particular I don’t want to be ignoring the people around me!!!! You are the best keep doing what makes you happy! You got this!!!!